I Want a Black Witch

I have been creatively constipated and unable to make sense of my own thoughts much less do any writing. I have bitched and complained plenty, to the ones I love, along with a few losers, who believe me deserve it. Today’s title sounds really horrible. To my daughter, who is almost completely deaf it sounds and means something amazing. “Mom, I want a black witch.”

Maggie is my step-daughter. Aw hell, she’s my daughter. I have spent most of her life and a good chunk of mine raising her. Unfortunately, her mother has been in and mostly out of her life. An almost total irresponsible failure to us both. That hot mess is another story all together. Hanyways – yes that is anyways with a great emphasis on the hany of the ways. So, in the beginning God created Maggie and Step-mom. They met when Maggie was only 1,460 days old. Communication was difficult because I did not know sign language and I was not really sure if she did either. She was born with developmental problems along with being deaf. After meeting her for the first time I was smitten. It was love at first sight. Man was she a little shithead but she was cute and special, very special.

This kiddo who cannot hear and does not speak but only makes strange noises is trying to tell me what she wants to eat for lunch. I am gesturing with my hand to my mouth FOOD … is that even making sense to her? It obviously does because the first words I had ever heard her say clearly was “black witch”. We had known each other about 60 days. Her daddy had to go to a job out-of-town and he asked if I would mind keeping her. I was scared to death but I have a son of my own, at that time he was 1,640 days old. So, I am perfectly capable of taking care of a child.

Now, what is a black witch in the context of food? Would you be able to guess? I pointed to several items in the kitchen, none of which were a witch or black. I thought what rhymes with black? Snack… ” Maggie you want a snack?” Ah yes we established that – we are looking for food ….. BLACK FOOD. Stack,pack,crack,whack, yak… oh my god. Ok, let’s try witch or is it which? Glitch,knich,stitch,flitch, – which witch? Faackkkk! Ok Maggie does not want to eat a crack stitch or a yak flitch so I had found some Mac / black …. hmmm mac n whack, stack of mac. Sweet 8 lb jesus I found some mac n cheese and she seemed to be great with that.

As the years passed I learned quite a bit of sign language and Maggie also began to have better speech skills. We had spent enough years together we communicated very well and understood each other. One day I decided to see if Maggie was able to fix something for me to eat at lunch. What a great time to start teaching the kiddo to prepare food for herself? I signed to her “lunch?” Would YOU like to make mom lunch today? She happily said and signed YES! With excitement she signs to me – it’s a surprise but I might need a little help. She looked in the cabinet and grabbed the peanut butter. Went to the refrigerator and pulled out some jelly. Grape Jelly. I saw where this was going and grabbed the bread. I watched her carefully do the spread of the pb&j. What a great job she was doing by the way. We sat down with our food and began to eat. “Maggie, what do you want to name your delicious lunch that you made?” In her broken speech she said black witch. My face must have scared her because she was immediately concerned that something was wrong with me. “Whats wrong bob (mom)?” When Maggie was tiny black = grape jelly and witch = sandwich.

I have carried this beautiful story with me for many years. If you find yourself seeing that your children at times do not make sense – always remember … they are young and perhaps we have forgotten all the wonderful ways the world looks and sounds entirely different to us giant doh doh brains. Do not forget to sometimes be that child.

Black Witch

Cat Witch

Without further adieu, I give you Maggie’s recipe for a Black Witch

Ingredients :

1 tablespoon of black or Grape Jelly

1 or 2 tablespoons of peanut butter

2 slices of witch or bread

*** you may add more or less black and peanut butter to your desired taste***


Carefully spread the black on one piece of witch.

Spread the peanut butter on the other witch.

Stack with gooey stuff in the middle and smoosh walllah!

“””””””””””””Dedicated to to my beautiful daughter, who within her lack of hearing has shown me how to see. “”””””””””””””

2 thoughts on “I Want a Black Witch

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